The Clean Up Woman

“The girl be cookin’ and cleanin’ and cleanin’ and cookin’!”

~ Webbie – Bad Bitch

I’m such a weirdo lol! I have a take home final due Monday and an in class final on Wednesday. I didn’t think I was stressed or concerned about it going into both finals with strong A’s but apparently I was. I just sat on the bed and realized I cleaned the whole apartment before coming to bed. When I say I cleaned the whole apartment, I swiffered the floors, wet jetted, did the dishes, cleaned the microwave, polished the tables, cleaned the bathroom mirror, toilet, and to top it all off…I have laid out and ironed my work clothes for the next two weeks. I have issues!

What is it about cleaning that is so soothing to me? Most people avoid cleaning, hate doing it or only do it out of necessity. When pressure mounts, I turn to housework. If I’m upset, anxious, overwhelmed, or tense I instinctively and automatically begin to clean before I realize I’m doing it. When did this start?

The more I thought about it, I believe it goes back to my childhood. I remember rearranging the furniture in my room or organizing my closet for fun. As I got older and had chores assigned to me, I would look forward to Saturdays when my parents would go visit my mom’s grandfather all day and expect me to complete my tasks before they returned. I would turn my music on the big stereo in the living room and clean the living room and kitchen top to bottom. I would dust, mop, and do laundry but have a blast doing it. What 13-year-old looks forward to spending Saturdays cleaning?!?!

When I first realized this was a coping mechanism for me, I analyzed it and came to the conclusion that when my life feels out of control or there is something I am not able to regulate, cleaning is something I can control. In the moments I’m not able to verbalize what’s going on inside, I can release the energy by tidying up. At times, like today, I don’t even realize that’s what I’m doing until after the fact. I think it odd, but know it’s a better way to muddle through than drugs or alcohol. The way I deal with stress is actually beneficial and productive so I have learned to embrace my quirk instead of being embarrassed by it.

Funk-O-Meter = 3.5

Days Without 'Cupcake' = 7