Laws of Attraction

“Something strange is happening to me

I don’t know what it is but it's feeling so good to me

I’m used to being so cool, laid back and in control

But what’s come over me?”

~Glenn Lewis & Amel Larrieux – What’s Come Over Me?

I’m a planner. Some that know me call me anal but I like to say inclined towards organization. I write out grocery lists, then rewrite them in the order of the store so I can start at one side, finish on the other and not have to go back across the store. It’s like a game I play with myself to see if I can do it accurately without having to backtrack. I love a good checklist and actually derive pleasure from scratching things off.

That being said, I like to plan out my next move. I don’t always take it too well when things don’t go as intended. Therein lies part of my issue with this whole dating thing. There are too many variables and pieces that I’m not able to predict. Who enjoys this process? I don’t want to keep starting over attempting to allow someone to get to know me. What I find even more irritating than that is the concept of attraction.

What causes attraction? Obviously the answer to that is different for each person. Some generate a list of desires such as height, a certain level of education, eye color, down to how straight their teeth are. Over the years, I’d constructed my minimal requirements based on things I either enjoyed or detested in previous relationships. However, over the past year I’ve found it mind boggling that people that look good on paper haven’t done it for me. These people have met all of my requirements yet have not evoked the response of attraction.  I’ve met some really nice people, well educated, affluent, attractive…ahhh there it was. I kept asking myself why I found this person attractive but was not attracted to them. Attraction and attractive are two different things.  I would continue the hanging out process hoping I would develop attraction at some point but I’ve learned I don’t function that way.

Either I’m attracted to someone or I’m not and most often it’s not. Just because I find someone physically attractive or they meet the prerequisites doesn’t mean I’ll be attracted to them. So what the heck is it? Is it pheromones? Is it genetic or some type of biological draw that brings out the Eros side of love in people? What makes somebody attracted to one and repulsed by another? What generates magnetism between humans? I still don’t know where attraction comes from and am frustrated by my inability to predict and plan it…but I do recognize its occurrence on the rare event it happens.

Funk-O-Meter = 3.5