Tough Love

 

“It will rain

There’ll be pain

Trouble will come

Understand

Count it all joy

Mornin’ will come

The sun will shine

Keep your head high”

~ Kelly Price – It’s Gonna Rain 

Definition of Tough Love:

Noun - Promotion of a person's welfare, esp. that of an addict, child, or criminal, by enforcing certain constraints on them, or requiring them to take responsibility for their actions. 

Interesting the closer I get to actioning the tough love plan, the weirder I feel. For 20 years, I have done all I can to give my child every opportunity I could and those I didn’t have. I would give my last or put myself in a bind to make sure she had not only what she needed but what she wanted. Now I have to take.  

I always talked big shit and thought it would be no big deal to enforce the rules and regulations I set for my kid. I would tell her or anyone that questioned me she knows I will put my foot as far up her ass as I possibly can if need be. I will fight a kid. But now that it’s time to actually do it, I feel sadness and nervousness and numbness.  

I have analyzed the situation and I know that I haven’t done anything wrong. I think part of the sadness was feeling like I am being mean to her or making things harder for her when my goal has always been to make things easier. I know that I have no choice. My child has not only lied to me but ON me. She is giving the whoa is me story to all that will listen, not answering my calls, returning my texts or telling me anything however I see she is living it UP on instagram. Pictures on her page and the page of the chick she’s hiding out with show them partying, having fun, and all in the car I just bought her barely a month ago. I noticed my daughter has her “hair did, nails did, everything did did!” Pics of them w/ war paint going to the football game, spontaneous twerking in front of the car’s headlights or someone else’s car, low cut shirts, bikinis, and all kinds of behaviors I know she would never do in front of me. Interesting. 

I know that as hard as this is, she needs to learn and telling her isn’t doing the job. I know that I have to let her hit bottom or realize she is not entitled to anything in this life she hasn’t worked for. I can’t condone and continue to finance her monkeyshines and tomfoolery. She has to understand that if she doesn’t follow the rules, there are consequences to pay. Most that have kids and have come to me when frustrated about their child will tell you I repeatedly tell them you have to ENFORCE the rules you set or there is no point in having rules. If there is no enforcement or consequences for their actions, they will never feel the need to change or correct their behavior. To this date, if I promised an ass whoopin’ I delivered it. If I told you the rule was A and consequence was B if you didn’t abide, I made sure you experienced B. So now I have to do the same, no matter how difficult it is. 

This will be interesting…

Funk-O-Meter = 5

Days Without 'Cupcake' = 1